Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My Messed-Up Heart ||| Just A Few Thoughts

Proverbs 4:23
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.

I heard this verse of the radio weeks ago and it really stuck with me. Because I've done a poor job of keeping or guarding my heart at times. I've let it lead and then watched as it fell apart. And then I'd beg God to rescue me when I was one who was the enemy. My own enemy lives inside me. It's my heart. My feelings, emotions. They will drive me to do things that I later regret. And sometimes I don't even know it till it's too late. I feel something, or want to do sometime, or say something; so I'll tell myself  it's God. This is God, I'll say to my heart. And go ahead with whatever it was. The whole time blinded my own sinfulness.
But the worst part is when I still don't care. When I've grow so cold that I do not care if I hurt. Hurt God, people, and me. 

That's when I start to hate myself. Because I'm so cold I've become numb to my only hope. Jesus. 

But He doesn't let me go. He keeps pushing and pulling. 

Hebrews 13:5 
 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Funny how I always remember that verse. But what I always forget is that I'm not supposes to leave Him either. I'm not supposes to leave the only One who won't leave me. 
So on thinking upon these things. My mislead heart. My messed-up choice making skills. My sins. And the things I need to give up. 

Matthew 10:39
He who seeks his life will lose it; and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.

You have to lose to gain. I've learned this by giving my life to Christ and living for Him. But I think this verse can go deeper (and it's hard to get any deeper than salvation but..), we have to give things up as Christians. Our wants. So that's what I've had to do. It's what I'll always have to do,  till I'm home. 
But that's okay. Because, whatever I lose, I gain more of Christ and that's all I need. 

So to wrap this up. I'm going to have to cage my heart. Locked it up and throw away the key. 
Because my heart belongs to God. And it's His to use. Not mine. 

And remember this-
 Life's A Balancing Act, Sometimes You Will Stand Tall, And Sometimes You Have To Fall. 

Just make sure you fall on God and not your heart. 

Love, Victoria.


  1. Oh my gosh! I <3 your blog soooo much! And i'm not just saying that, it is so beautiful, and i can tell that you truly have a heart for God!!! I'd love to hear from you, girl ; )


    Noelle : )

    1. Aw, thanks so much. That's means a lot to me! I'm hoping to do more like this! :)


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